Life Update

It is hard to believe that 6 months have gone by since I have taken time to write my thoughts here!  I have missed it but also know that I just do not have a lot of consistant free time to pull togather coherent thoughts.  Sparadic is the best I can hope for but I will try to do better than once every six months.  Alot of things going on in our family life so I thought I would give everyone an update.

On September 13, 2011 I wrote a blog updating everyone on the proccess of fostering and adopting that we were in.  Almost 7 months later I am happy to report that we are only weeks away from finalizing!  The files were sent to our lawyer last week and we should have a court date for finalization this next week.  It has been 16 months since we brought this little amazing gift into our home.   In some ways the proccess takes so long and is so fustrating and yet how quickly these months have flown by. I can't wait to post pictures of our littlest gift!

In March, we moved from our home of 18 years to a house three times the size in the town where my husbands business is located.  We now are just five blocks from his work.  We are loving the space and loving the community.  It was very emotional for us to leave the our home but I am hopefully, that this will become the home of all of our hearts and am very thankful that our dear oldest daughter was here to participate in the move and is able to live in the new house for several months. I wanted this to feel like her home, not the home her family moved to!

Door aerobices

This morning with the snow melting due to warmer temperatures and expected rain by Friday, I sent the children outdoors. One would think this would then imply that the mother, safely ensconced in the warmth of the house, would be able to put her feet up and relax for a few minutes. This however proves itself to be a fallacy.

Six children into boots, snow pants, scarves, gloves, coats, hats. This takes approximately 15 minutes. It is a highly demanding situation as waiting patiently is not a skill set achieved at these ages. I breath a sigh of relief after the last child is bundled and out the door. By the time I inhaled one child is back. I should have timed the intervals of their arrivals to the back door just for kicks. MDN3 has lost her glove no less than 3 times, lost a boot one time, has tattled at least twice, and needed to be undressed and redressed one time for the bathroom. MDN2 has lost her mitten once and came twice to complain about being bored. Baby1 has lost his mitten and hat at least 10 times. Baby2 has lost mitten and hat several times and needed comfort after being licked by the dog. MDMS has come to the door to tattle one time and needed correction after he was caught throwing snow balls at my decorative star hanging on the side of the house. MDN1 has happily occupied herself outside.

Please keep in mind at this point that the children have only been outside for 20 minutes! I have not sat down once or completed any single task that is on my list! I did however walk back and forth from the sink to the back door A LOT! I wonder how many "steps" I got in?

Mamma said there would be days like this

My day began after only a couple hours of sleep. There was a threat of severe weather and I was finishing the laundry that was needed for the men in my life to pack which kept me up later than normal. At 4 A.M. I drove Mr. and DYS to the airport. I could have grabbed a couple hours of sleep after I got home before the babies actually got up, but in anticipation of them waking up at any minute I was unable to achieve anything but a very light cat nap. Baby 1 was not happy that Mr. and DYS were on a "trip" and proceeded to show me how unhappy he was about this all morning. Baby 2 is teething and getting no less than 6 teeth on the top sides at once. Needless to say she is a little bit irritable herself. By 10 a.m. I was ready to call a do over! For most of the morning I felt like I was just trading babies in and out of time out. I thought we might have a little reprieve when we put Baby 2 down for a nap but then Baby 1 fell against the footstool hitting the corner of his eye and getting a lovely shiner. By lunch time I was thanking God that the longest part of this day was over and counting out the hours until bed time! What else could happen at this point! Famous last words!

Just as I was taking baby 2 out of her highchair to clean her up I noticed that there was something green in her nose. On closer inspection it was decided that what was in her nose was a pea from her lunch. For the last couple of weeks, we have intercepted several items from being inserted in her nose. Her favorite item is pieces of toilet paper. My mind was busy trying to determine how I was going to get the pea out of her nose without injuring her when she inhaled and I could no longer see the pea. I decided to err on the side of caution and called the after hours pediatric center. They informed me that I was to give her nothing to eat or drink and that I needed to go the ER. Off we went. Thankfully the ER was completely empty and we were immediately taken to a room. Within minutes a nurse practitioner was with us. She had baby lay on the table and as she was screaming out of sheer anger I had to cup my mouth around hers like I was giving her mouth to mouth resuscitation and blow while the nurse plugged the nostril without the pea. It took four blows for the pea to pop out and in less than 15 minutes we were on our way back home. Who knew?

What a day!

Ezzo's parenting books; a review

I was fortunate enough to borrow the Ezzo's child series; Baby wise 2, Toddler wise, and Preschool wise, from a lady in our local home school support group. I then read Child wise, which my sister had picked up at the home school conference. It was a wonderful refresher course for me as we begin parenting small children, a phase we have been out of for many years! The books also presented a new perspective for me on several issues. It has been my opinion that as a culture we think to little of our children. We have no expectations of them and for the most part ignore any attempts at training, instead just accepting their behaviors as the next phase to be lived through. Children are given endless choices well before they are able to handle the choices. They become addicted to choices and when the adults are in a situation where they can not give a choice the children respond with temper tantrums. Choices should be limited and parents should be in control of what clothes and what food the children eat as two examples. A quick quiz to see if your children are addicted to choice is to simply tell them what they are going to have for breakfast.

As I am reading through these books, I began to implement many of the ideas and have been pleased with how quickly the children have responded. For instance, when I ask them to do something I now expect them to say, "yes mommy." If they are having trouble listening or controlling themselves we ask them to fold their hands in their lap. I am still working on scheduling our days but for the most part I have worked out a rough schedule that is working well right now. We have room time, playpen time, table time, playtime with siblings, playtime with mom, playtime with dad and free play. We noticed and immediate improvement with baby 1's ability to focus and sit still for longer and longer periods of time. He is also learning to entertain himself and to be self directed! I now feel as though I am not just walking through my days responding to things that are happening to me but am instead being purposeful and in control. It is a much nicer place to be! There are several new catch phrases around our home. Where are you, what are you supposed to be doing, and do you have the freedom to do that are the main ones. All of these phrases redirect the children and put the responsibility back on them. I actually implemented this with my older children. They know what they are supposed to be doing and where they are supposed to be doing it. When they want to do something else, they know what they should have done to have the freedom to move on. Instead of me listing off the chores and responsibilities for them I just have to ask if they have that freedom.

Mr. read through much of the books with me. He taught the children to fold their hands. However, his focus was slightly different than mine! One of the concepts presented in this book is that children need to know that their parents love each other and are a priority above them. To do this, they recommend having couch time everyday with your spouse. So, while I was planning out schedules and making lists of goals, Mr. just wanted to know when we would be starting couch time!

Learning to drive

My DMD took and passed the test to recieve her learners permit. Which of course means that she is legally able to drive a vehicle as long as one of her parents is in the car with her. So, off we went to the same gravel road where I taught her older sister to drive and where I taught my baby sister how to use a stick shift. She got in the drivers seat and I walked her through the initail steps of preparring to drive. Seatbelt on, Check. Adjust all the mirrors, Check. Adjust the seat, Check. Adjust the steering wheel, Check. Turn the engine on, Check. As soon as the engine caught she took a deep breath, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "now what?" I actually have it on video.



When we took DOD to drive for the first time DYS was still in a car seat and around the age of 4. As soon as she got behind the wheel, he began to scream, "Were all going to die!"

DYS will get his permit next year. Then we will have three drivers in our family. Truly a new phase of life!

A true story

I set out Sunday morning to prepare roast and potato's in the crock pot for lunch before we left for church. I believe it may have taken longer to prepare the potato's than it did for them to actually cook. This is a true story of my potato preparation and accurately depicts what happens whenever I attempt to accomplish any task these days.

I got out the potatoes and a knife.
I washed the potato while baby 1 fussed at my leg. Picked baby 1 up for a brief cuddle and redirected him towards a box of special toys I keep for just this type of situation. Put baby 1 down and pick up potato and knife. Meanwhile baby 2 has spotted baby 1's toys and is attempting a cue. Put down knife and potato and separate babies giving baby 2 her own special box. pick up knife and potato and begin to peal. Baby 1 now wants the toys that baby 2 has and has tackled baby 2. put down knife and potato and put baby 2 in time out. set timer and settle baby 2 back down. Deal with end of time out, restructure toys, pick up potato and knife. Finish 1 potato.

Pick up second potato and notice that Baby 1 has disappeared and is suspiciously quiet. Put down potato and find Baby 1 playing with some papers he should not have. Redirect baby 1 with an approved paper and crayons. Return to potato. Baby 2 has dirty diaper. Put down potato and change baby 2 diaper. In meantime Baby 1 has tired of paper and crayons and has thrown crayons on the floor where baby 1 is making a mad dash to get as many as she can before they are picked up. Help Baby 1 to pick up and put away crayons. Pick up second potato again and began pealing. Baby 2 is still mad about being thwarted in crayon attempt and is fussing at my feet. When I don't respond as she wants she begins to pull things off the kitchen shelves. Put down Potato and direct baby 2 to the approved cupboards for play.

I could go on but its late and you get the point. Only 10 more potatoes to go!

I've been waiting for this!

I have been waiting for a perfect day likt today to wash all the bedding in the house!

It's breezy and 82!

Now I am waiting to crawl into those wonderful smelling sheets tonight!

I've been waiting to fill my clothesline with little clothes belonging to little people!

God is good always!

Life Changes

Three weeks ago I was having a down day. My heart was heavy and I wondered if we would ever have the opportunity to adopt or to care for children in foster care. All afternoon my heart was filled with prayers to God. I shed many tears begging God to create in me a desire for His will in my life over mine. That same afternoon we received a call about a possible placement. We did not receive those children or the child from the next phone call. Those calls and their timing were a clear signal to me that I was not forgotten by God and that He did indeed have a plan for us. I received peace that day. Two weeks ago Monday, our lives were forever changed by a phone call asking us if we were interested in a long term pre-adoptive placement for a sibling pair. Would we drive to a nearby town and pick up two little babies in need of our care? With one phone call God closed many doors and clearly directed our steps to the path He has chosen for us. I said yes and within a very short amount of time we were on the road to pick them up.

The last fourteen days have been intense. Neither baby sleeps all night. We have had to adjust and learn the children's habits and behaviors, likes and dislikes, and they have had to adjust to us. Then yesterday one of the babies was admitted to the hospital. We have definitely redefined what normal is for our family. We are tired yet exhilarated, exhausted yet filled with joy. We do not know how long these two will be with us but we are pouring love and teaching into them knowing it will not go to waste.

The timing is not ours. Mr. as well as DMD and DYS leave town on Tuesday for three weeks. I may be trying to care for a toddler with a baby in the hospital. Providentially, our DOD came home Friday night and will be around next week and is willing to help. I was on the Easter committee at church to decorate and serve Easter breakfast. Two of our children are participating in the Easter cantata this evening. DYS is playing Zachius. We were hosting Easter dinner at our house this afternoon and DYS was having his family birthday party. I could look at all of those things and think the timing is all wrong. We watched the Young Billy Graham Friday evening and I was particularly touched by the scene in which he is saved. The evangelist points at him and tells him that he was not sitting there on accident. That two thousand years ago God had planned for him to be sitting there. That is how I felt when I woke up this morning in the hospital with this little baby. I am here in this time and this place for this purpose.

Lessons In Manhood

Our family sat down to the table last night after being apart to various activities all day. Everyone was excited to share the events of their day. I had fixed a wonderful meal. Caesar side salads, Teriyaki potatoes, a whole oven BBQ chicken and a strawberry mousse for desert. Everything looked nice and smelled good. As we are eating my DYS says, "You know who makes good chicken. Mrs. Pastors wife makes the best chicken." Everyone else at the table new the phopa that had just been created except for the phobaee who continued on to exclaim the virtues of this chicken cooked by another woman. I decided that God had just handed me an opportunity to teach DYS a lesson that would, if he learned it now, bless his wife later. So, I calmly looked at DYS and said, "Dear son, I would give you a piece of advice. Do not ever sit at my table in front of the chicken that I have slaved over all day and compliment another woman's chicken. Further more some day when you are married the only woman's whose cooking you should ever compliment is your wife's. " Mr. chimed in seconding my counseling as wise based on his own experiences in this area. We all got a good laugh out of that!

Guess Who's Home!

If you guessed our Dear Oldest Daughter

You guessed Correctly!

It all started a couple weeks ago when my baby sister asked what I was doing this weekend.

She made a pretty thorough of examination of my calender which at the time I thought was rather forward :) and then invited me to a movie today.

My mommy / older sister antennae went up and I later told my husband that

"she was up to something". Our 21rst wedding anniversary is the 18th so I thought maybe she was planning a surprise for that.

I had that feeling a couple more times but could not pin point why. We go out to the movies once or twice a year but she seemed to be making a big deal out of going and then was vague about which movie and what time.

Thursday, she asked me to pick our mom up for the movie which I agreed to. She told me they were taking her girls to their other aunts for the night and she did not think she would get back in time to get mom and get to the movie in time.

This morning I had a text conversation with my older daughter which amounted

to me lecturing her about being safe during Mardi Gras and staying with someone at all times.

She made a couple of odd comments that I wrote off to text message interpretation.

On my way to get my mom, my sister calls and tells me that she is at the mall and would I stop by Gap to check out dress she likes. My radar went off again but I still had no idea what she could possible be up to at the mall no less.

Off to Gap I go. Into the dressing room. At this point my sister opens the door to the dressing room. I barely even looked at her, instead I am looking down at the dress. Keep in mind that my dear youngest sister and dear old daughter have the same color hair, and could be twins depending on the lighting. In my cursory glance when the door opened I had not registered anything abnormal. So, I am standing there looking at the dress when I notice that there is an extra set of legs in the dressing room. As I looked up it took several seconds to realize that the person I was looking at was MY BABY wearing a dress! It just did not register that she was standing in front of me!

According to eye witness accounts, I completely lost my composer and began to scream and cry and hold onto MY BABY!

My sister had thankfully warned the people at Gap so they would not call the police!

The surprises were not over, my sister then drove us to the fairgrounds where the rest of my family was setting up for the beef expo.

As we came around the corner her grandpa was talking on the phone and looking right at her. He looked and looked and then his mouth dropped and just hung open in shock!

About the same time her brother and sister saw her.

Mr. was completely speechless!

I have been missing her something terrible lately and had even been talking to Mr. about driving to visit her in New Orleans before she headed back to California at the end of March figuring that she would not get any closer to home and knowing that it would be the end of June before we saw her. Mr. knowing how badly I was missing her was checking out plane fares to see if he could send me to her for a visit. My sister trumped all of those options and brought her home to us! She is all ours for four days.

We have to drive her to KC on Wednesday so she can return to her post.

WOW! What a surprise!

A Great Quote from DYS

My husband is a true gentleman. He opens car doors for me, helps me with my coat and always carries the packages. My son follows in his fathers footsteps in how he treats his sisters and myself. The other day we were running a lot of in and out errands and several times I rushed ahead of the kids and opened the doors without thinking about it. Finally, in fustration DYS said, "Mom, I'm trying to be a gentleman but you have to let me!". Oh, from the mouths of babes!

A Great Quote from Voddie Baucham

“I believe one of the greatest crutches in the church is the nursery. Parents who have neglected to train their children have very little encouragement to do so when there is a place to hide them. The father who should be up in arms by the time he gets home from church because of the embarrassment to which his child subjected him ends up going home with a clear conscience while the nursery worker takes a handful of aspirin.” -Voddie Baucham

As someone who has swolled my fair share of apirin I can only say Amen! Or as Voddie says, "if you can't say amen then you had better say ouch!

Pro Life Sunday

Every day 4,000 babies are murdered in the womb in this country. This is a statistic that every pro lifer is familiar with. Once upon a time it was difficult to prove that a fetus was a baby. The abortionist called the baby a blob of tissue. Today's technology has proven the inaccuracies of that concept. 3-D imaging, prenatal surgeries, and continuing technological care of preemie babies leaves little doubts that the "blob" of tissue is indeed a human being. The argument shifted away from the issue of viability to the issue of woman's rights. It is here that the pro life movement has fallen short.

The pro life movement has failed to acknowledge that for EVERY baby that is aborted there is a WOMAN. They yell at the culture about the life of a baby, bill boards proclaiming that its a baby not a choice. The pro life movement has succeeded in this area. No one doubts that it is a baby which makes that theory an argument that is seldom brought to the debate floor. However, the pro life movement continues to use this same tactic. What about the mother. Until we reach out to woman, those who have already suffered and been wounded by an abortion, those who would consider abortion as a viable alternative to their circumstance and those who love the woman in those circumstances we will not win the lives of babies or the hearts of their mothers!

For every baby that is killed there are grandparents, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, husbands, or boyfriends whom this act will forever define. The statistic is that 1 out 4 woman have had an abortion. The statistics run across the board and include woman sitting next to you in church. Multiply the number of people affected by that decision and every single day upwards of 40,000 people are affected by that "choice". For these people there is only three realities to living in the aftermath. They can harden themselves to the reality they know in their hearts and deny any wrong. They can admit the truth to themselves and live with the guilt and shame they feel which will keep them silent and unable to pass "judgement" on others by voicing their experience. Or, the final choice is to find forgiveness and healing in Christ. For these woman and their families the statistics do not matter because they are the statistics.

Our culture will never pass a law making abortion illegal. To do so would be to convict millions of people of murder. Those people are not going to vote for legislatures who are willing to attempt to pass such legislation. Knowing this is true many pro life advocates have decided that they should pursue a law that would make exceptions because they feel this has more opportunity to be passed. It has no hope of working and is hopelessly flawed. So how do we reach the millions of people affected by abortion in this culture and convince them to make the change. I would say, that we have to convince them that they have been wronged, lied to and damaged. We have to convince them the truth of forgiveness and help them heal. We have to get the truth to them and bring the abortion industry out of the dark, out hiding and into the light. We have to educate the culture on this multi million dollar industry, the health issues surrounding it, and the damage it has done to woman. The pro life movement needs to become the movement that loves woman!

Friends don't let friends have abortions.

World View Wednesday: From the news

The state of Iowa is going to be starting a campaign to let the public know that babies cry. The states message will be simply, that's what babies do and its OKAY. There will be a media campaign, see a billboard near you, as well as mandatory classes for new parents held at your local hospital.

Why is this type of campaign needed? Why do people no longer understand that babies cry? It is the natural created order of humanity. Babies cry to let us know that they have a need that needs to be met. When the need is met, the baby relaxes, bonds and grows up healthy and secure. An unmet need means crying. Why don't people know that? Society no longer understands something so basic as why babies cry because we are two generations into an age segregated society. People used to live multigenerationally in family groups. Some time mom was still have babies when the oldest child began having babies. Having babies was a natural part of life and their care was modeled by moms, grandmas, aunts and sisters. The woman of the home as well as the community participated in showing the next generation how to care for a baby. In normal day to day life babies would cry and people would respond to that crying appropriately. It is only now when we begin age segregation by sending infants to day care for twelve hours a day where they will continue to grow in segregated groups away from any multigenerational interaction does it not only surprise people that babies cry but causes them to react with anger towards the crying child by shaking the child.

An educational campaign can not fix the root of the problem that was ironically caused by the state in the first place. It is just a stop gap measure. It won't prevent the continued slide of our post Christian culture. The children of our culture are not safe: not in the womb, not in their homes, and not in the government run schools!

Just last week in California a 15 year old Christian girl was abused, raped, and sodomized by a gang of young men who were surrounded by up to 50 witness and yet, no one called the police or attempted to help this girl for 2 and a 1/2 hours! The girls had been dropped of at her school by her dad for a school dance. This is Rome, this is a culture without Christ.

Worldview Wednesday: Children

A friend sent me the following article about the U.N.'s recent announcement that they think handing out free condoms to help fight population growth will help prevent global warming. The assumption is that people are the cause of global warming therefor if there is less of us than the global warming phenomenon will slow down.

"LONDON – The battle against global warming could be helped if the world slowed population growth by making free condoms and family planning advice more widely available, the U.N. Population Fund said Wednesday.
The agency did not recommend countries set limits on how many children people should have, but said: "Women with access to reproductive health services ... have lower fertility rates that contribute to slower growth in greenhouse gas emissions.""
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091118/ap_on_sc/climate_population_growth

For the sake of today I am going to skip the issue of global warming and talk about children.
God sees children as a blessing, EVERY CHILD, EVERY WHERE IN THE WORLD, no matter how rich or poor, no matter what the government they live under says. Exodus 1: 7 connects children to the might of Israel. "The Israelites were fruitful and increased greatly, multiplying, and became exceedingly mighty so that the land was filled with them. " Satan never sees children as a blessing and the Pharaoh of Egypt seeing the might of the Israel in its children began a campaign against the Israelites out of FEAR.

Exodus 1 vs 12 says the more the Pharaoh afflicted them, the more they multiplied and the more they spread out. God's blessing in their time of affliction was the children! They had no money. They were required to work in terrible conditions as slaves.. They owned nothing for themselves. Despite their circumstances the population of Israel swelled. Pharaoh continued to fear what would happen as the strength of Israel was in its children. When the bitterness of the conditions of lives that were imposed on them by the Pharaoh the blessing of God continued. The Pharaoh went to the midwives and ordered them to put to death any son that was born. The midwives FEARED GOD and did not do as the Pharaoh said. Exodus 1 vs. 20 says, "So God was good to the midwives and the people multiplies and became very mighty.

It caught my eye that in the article the UN understands that giving woman access to reproductive health services is an indicator of lower fertility rates. By access to reproductive health services they really mean, birth control and abortion. How very different from the midwives of Exodus who understood that God's blessing on a people is its children.