Ezzo's parenting books; a review

I was fortunate enough to borrow the Ezzo's child series; Baby wise 2, Toddler wise, and Preschool wise, from a lady in our local home school support group. I then read Child wise, which my sister had picked up at the home school conference. It was a wonderful refresher course for me as we begin parenting small children, a phase we have been out of for many years! The books also presented a new perspective for me on several issues. It has been my opinion that as a culture we think to little of our children. We have no expectations of them and for the most part ignore any attempts at training, instead just accepting their behaviors as the next phase to be lived through. Children are given endless choices well before they are able to handle the choices. They become addicted to choices and when the adults are in a situation where they can not give a choice the children respond with temper tantrums. Choices should be limited and parents should be in control of what clothes and what food the children eat as two examples. A quick quiz to see if your children are addicted to choice is to simply tell them what they are going to have for breakfast.

As I am reading through these books, I began to implement many of the ideas and have been pleased with how quickly the children have responded. For instance, when I ask them to do something I now expect them to say, "yes mommy." If they are having trouble listening or controlling themselves we ask them to fold their hands in their lap. I am still working on scheduling our days but for the most part I have worked out a rough schedule that is working well right now. We have room time, playpen time, table time, playtime with siblings, playtime with mom, playtime with dad and free play. We noticed and immediate improvement with baby 1's ability to focus and sit still for longer and longer periods of time. He is also learning to entertain himself and to be self directed! I now feel as though I am not just walking through my days responding to things that are happening to me but am instead being purposeful and in control. It is a much nicer place to be! There are several new catch phrases around our home. Where are you, what are you supposed to be doing, and do you have the freedom to do that are the main ones. All of these phrases redirect the children and put the responsibility back on them. I actually implemented this with my older children. They know what they are supposed to be doing and where they are supposed to be doing it. When they want to do something else, they know what they should have done to have the freedom to move on. Instead of me listing off the chores and responsibilities for them I just have to ask if they have that freedom.

Mr. read through much of the books with me. He taught the children to fold their hands. However, his focus was slightly different than mine! One of the concepts presented in this book is that children need to know that their parents love each other and are a priority above them. To do this, they recommend having couch time everyday with your spouse. So, while I was planning out schedules and making lists of goals, Mr. just wanted to know when we would be starting couch time!