Life Changes Part Two

I like to dress nice on a daily basis. Even if I am working around the house, you will find me in a skirt, hair done and make up on. It was not always so. When the children were little I lived in a fuzzy green jogging suit. It was functional, warm and washed well. Then one day my calm and unopinionated husband informed me that he did not like the jogging suite. So, it was an odd day that found me unshowered, hair in a pony tail, dressed in workout Capri's and a stained shirt. When the phone rang, I answered it despite the toll free number. I had started answering toll free calls because the foster care agency calls came from a toll free number. Better to hang up on a telemarketer than miss a call I had decided. They identified themselves and asked if I would be interested in taking a sibling pair, giving me ages and sex. I said that we would and the worker said that the children's social worker would be contacting me. I hung up not expected a call back for several hours or possibly days which was how the other calls we had received for possible placements had proceeded. In this case however, I had barely disconnected from the call when the phone rang and found myself on talking with a social worker who was looking for a long term pre adoptive home for a sibling set. When I told him we were interested in asked how long it would take me to get there. In total shock, we agreed to a reasonable time frame. I called Mr. right away making arrangements for him to meet me and then ran through the house screaming for DMS. His response to my news was to yell PRAISE GOD at the top of his lungs. I called a friend trying to make arrangements for DMS and found that she had two car seats that we could borrow. Dropped DMS off at friends house and raced to pick up car seats. When my friend saw me she laughed because of how I was dressed, shocked to see me looking unkept and in pants. She helped me to install the car seats as I related what details I had and off I went to meet up with Mr. It was a little bit of a drive to the town where we were supposed to pick up the children and we were so uncertain what would happen once we got there. We met the children, loaded their things in the car, signed some papers, and were off in under a half an hour. I kept turning around in my seat looking at them and I said to Mr, "I can't believe they just gave us these children!" We arrived back at the house in a state of shock and began the task of settling the children in. The next three months would prove to be a bumpy ride.



I have since decided that there really is not a good way to prepare for the experience of foster care. The classes scare you to death and scare off any faint of heart. The real life experience is vastly different in practicalities from what is described at class. Both babies were terribly sick with colds and Baby 2 had a fever. Baby 1 was traumatized and would spend the next three months waking up once an hour screaming and unconsolable. The babies lacked even the most rudumentary training for their ages. Boundaries was and is a huge issue for Baby 1 who had never had any limits up until this point. Safety was a major concern as Baby 1 did not respond to the concept of stop or the name which Baby 1 is called. There were numerous difficult behaviors between the two children. Baby 1 experienced anxiety issues. To top it all off, Baby 2 would end up in the hospital for seven days while Mr. and the older children would begin their spring travel season. Mercifully, God provided our DOD time at home and she saved the day by being able to watch baby1 while I was in the hospital with baby 2. My grandmother would pass away during this time and I would attend the funeral without my Mr. as we could not get permission for the babies to travel with us. It was during this time that I began to understand the phrase, God equips those he calls.



Where grace was needed, Grace has abounded. In settings and situations that I would not have thought possible I have been filled with the love of God and that love has passed to others. I have had compassion when I thought compassion would not be possible. And I have prayed as I have never prayed before for hours over these children. God provided meals through fellow believers for which I was so blessed. Another friend came one day just so that I could shower. Other friends phoned just to encourage me. A friend who is a nurse came just when I needed help despite being exhausted after her own 12 hour shift to help with a medicle situation that I was not equipped to deal with. I have been flexible when flexability is not at all my normal disposition. Schedules change randomly and frequently. Phone calls do not get returned and papers do not get signed when I feel that they should but they do learn to happen in God's timing, which I have learned to trust on a whole new level. Selfishness that might have gone unnoticed has been brought into the light and examined under the light. The result is change and growth as we have all had to die to self in areas that were previously unchallenged. Some areas were more painful then others!