I happened to catch a TV commercial the other day that tickled my funny bone. I believe it was a commercial about mini van safety but the implications of the commercial were also a commentary on society and how we relate to boys as moms. The mini van pulls into the parking space and a cool, hip mom steps out with son. They proceed to the back of the vehicle where the mother begins pulling out safety equipment and putting it on her child. By the time she is done this poor kid has on every know piece of sports safety equipment from the helmet and eye protection to the football pads and shin guards. He looks as though he is prepared to participate in a major sporting event. Instead the last thing that the mother takes out of the trunk is a .......... tennis racket. Talk about over kill! All of that for a game of tennis. I have always been concerned about raising our son because when I look around a society I know exactly how I DO NOT want our son to turn out. The question has then become, how do I produce something different? Lately I have heard several Godly men comment on blogs, on air, and in printed materials that even the home school movement is failing to produce men. The reason for this they claim is that fact that mothers are primarily in charge of the education of their sons. There is not a "man" on the planet who would dress his son in all of that safety equipments in order for him to play a game of tennis.
When I talk to my husband about his childhood I am amazed at the breadth and freedom he had to roam, create from nature, and play with things that I would consider dangerous. They would leave home in the morning with bb guns and spend the entire day exploring the woods and playing. There were plenty of injuries to go around but he considers these experiences to be core to learning how to be a man, to develop judgment and strategy. If you ever need to get a room full of guys talking, just ask them about their battle scars. You will have enough conversation for hours as they all attempt to out do the scars of their friends. The only equivalent to this that women have is our labor stories and the escapades of our sons. Woman nurture and want to keep their loved ones safe. That is why we bubble wrap our sons and tell them no every time they talk about building some weapon of destruction. My sons job is radically different and will continue to be radically different from that of his sister. Some day he will be responsible for the leadership and protection of his own family. There are things I can do to help develop those skills, to encourage them but this will always be tempered by my desire to keep him safe from any and all harm.
I don't have any answers to this dilemma. We are praying about how shift the balance for our son so that he spends most of his time with his father. Until then, I have to seek my husbands opinion on decisions. Even on things as basic as, "hey mom, can take my entire arsenal of swords to small group tonight for all the kids to play." Of course every fiber of my being is screaming no! Instead I sent my son to his father who wisely said that he could but he had to seek the permission of the host before bringing out the arsenal. I never would have thought of that one.
