I frequently observe that the myth of doing it all and having it all is alive and well within our churches. There always seems to be those women who give the appearance of managing their homes and participating in lots of ministries. We look at them on the outside and think not that not only are they doing it all but they are doing it all well. An earnest conversation will usually reveal that the truth is an entirely different reality. Their husbands most frequently have been trained in the same feminist culture and they don't dare complain if their children are out of control, their underwear is dirty or they are yet again eating frozen pizza. They resign themselves to a lifestyle of neglect and frustration. They don't enjoy their families so they work more and seek their own happiness outside of the home. For their wives ministry is the priority and yet the one ministry that God has ordained them to do first is daily neglected. Then they are at a loss as to why their children are not a blessing and their marriage is in the toilet.If your Sunday school lesson is well prepared and seems to impact the children what does that gain you if your own children have not heard you read the scriptures to them? What if your worship is the sweetest most beautiful well practiced sound on Sunday morning but your own husband is unhappy in your relationship and has not had his needs met in recent history because you are to tired.
Many times woman feel that they are not doing that much. Yet, if they made a list of all the things that took them out of their homes or took their attention away from their homes they would be very surprised. Adding up the amount of time they are away from the home or that their attention is else where would lend another surprise. Teaching Sunday school for example is not a bad thing. Yet if I count the cost, I soon realize that it takes me two hours every week I teach to prepare the lesson. I prepare that lesson from home, yet my attention is taken from my home during those two hours. The Sunday school lesson usually involves a snack which I then either have to bake or make a trip to the store to purchase. If there is a craft I have to gather items or make a trip to the store to purchase them. My total time cost usually is around four hours. Some weeks it is more. Very rarely is it less.
Now four hours is not necessarily a big deal, but it could be. Hows your house look? What is your family eating this week? Are the clothes clean and put away? More importantly have you invested time into the relationships within your family? When your husband comes home are you still attempting to "work", to busy to sit down and relax with him. What about the children. If they have been neglected all day and left to squabble amongst themselves your husband will find dirty unhappy children upon his return home. IF this is your home, then four hours is to much.
This has been a long journey for me. Some of the adjustments I have made over the years seem silly but were really important milestones in my journey home. For instance I was at home all day long with the children yet bath time was scheduled for the evenings. It took an hour or more out of our evening family time to run everyone through baths. My husband asked if I could do the children's baths in the morning. I did not know that he even thought this was a problem until he made the suggestion. I was thankful that he spoke up and made his needs for more time with myself and the children in the evening. Over the years I have had to discipline myself to not be doing house work in the evenings. I am not talking about normal time appropriate cleaning such as the dinner dishes. I am talking about dusting, vacuuming, or doing laundry. These are all things that I should be diligent in getting accomplished during my day. This does not mean that my husband can not help me by cooking meals now and then or otherwise helping around the house. But it does mean that I am called to be his helpmeet. He is not called to be mine. We each have realms of responsibilities or spheres of influence. I expect my husband to be diligent in his job path so that he can provide for our family. I need to use that same diligence at home.
