Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Our church has been studying the fruits of the spirit in Sunday school class. This past week the fruit was gentleness or meekness. I was touched by one comment in particular. Our pastor asked if we were gentle or meek in our response to God. Do we hear his voice and follow him or do we argue, drag our feet or even stomp them in response. I argue. It takes a certain amount of pride to argue with the creator of the universe! As if I would know better than GOD what is best for me. Yet, I argue. I wish this was not my first response and I am hoping that as I grow and mature in Christ that this will change. I want to argue less with God and be more willing to say yes the first time he asks me.

I have really struggled for the past two years with my role in my family. My oldest daughter leaving for college and the majority of my friends still having babies every year is a hard thing for me to swallow. Just when I think I have accepted this as Gods will for my life something else happens and I revert to foot stomping. My most recent focus has been on what I am going to do with the rest of my life. My youngest child is 10 years away from leaving home yet, I am worried about the purpose of my life. Even to the point of contemplating taking some night classes.

The feminist email of the previous blog was a gift from God. It helped me to say yes to HIM once again. That email made me take a hard look at what I believe and in the process of defending those beliefs I realized that I had been struggling with God. Ten years from now I may go back to school but I have a higher purpose to fufill right now.