Almost nine months ago, I had the incredible experience of driving to the hospital with my husband and an empty car seat, only to return home with a newborn baby girl we call Lilly. We have poured our souls into this precious child and wondered at the future. Will she stay or will she be able to be reunited with her birth parents? From day to day, my emotions rock me. I can't imagine her not being here and being part of our family.
It is important to know the truth because it is the truth that anchors our faith. I have to remind myself, sometimes hourly, that as much as I love this child, she is loved infinitely more by her heavenly father. He has a plan for her life. She is not being tossed to and fro on man made waves. I also have to believe that although that plan may not include us in the future it has included and blessed us greatly in the last nine months. To be honest this has been an incredible struggle for me and while I type these words with complete faith today, I may very well be on my knees tomorrow wanting my own desires to be met.
There was an initial permanency hearing where termination was requested for one parent but an extension was given for the other parent. The social worker did not even have the courtesy to call and tell us what he had planned. Despite reassurances from the GAL offices just the week before that they would be requesting termination. A new permanency hearing was scheduled for four months later. Many things can change in four months. In our case the parent who was granted the extension went to jail. Unfortunately the wheels of bureaucracy turn slow and while they are now going to request termination from both parents they are not changing the court date. This will push the adoption finalization into sometime next summer. It seems so far away and the months between now and finalization filled with uncertainty. We are trusting God each day to finish the work that he has begun in our lives and in her life.