Titus 2:4 tells us that older woman are to teach younger woman to love their husbands and love their children. The word love in this verse is the root word "phileo". The active verb meaning is to cultivate tender affections. This is not small task. It is a monumental life time calling. We did not marry the story book prince charming. Our real life spouses do not always have perfect hair, coordinating socks, and a willingness to die for us every second of every day. Living with someone day after day, year after year, can be tough. Things happen between spouses that are hurtful and damaging. At that point do we cultivate tender affections or do we harden our hearts against our spouse? When we suffer pain in our relationship and are trying to protect ourselves we begin to hold back from our spouse and we begin to distrust them. Then we choose to relate to our husbands in ways that leave us less exposed and more protected. We loose sensitivity and are unable to love our husbands in the manner which Christ loves us. This type of hardening is the sin described in Hebrews 3: 12 - 13. Cultivating tender affections toward our husbands is an act of will, not a feeling! We have to be intentional about this. Begin with prayer. Ask the Lord of Lords to soften your heart towards your husband, to create a reverence (a feeling of profound awe and respect) within you toward your husband. God gives us the desires of our heart if we trust in the Lord. Psalm 37: 4-5 says, "Delight thyself also in the Lord and he shall give thee the desires of the thine heart. Commit they way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass." Pray that you would not harbor bitterness but would instead have action in line with the will of God. With our hearts focused on the Lord and the Holy Spirit working within us we begin to pray FOR our husband.
Pray for his walk with Christ. Colossians 1: 9-12 "to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding that ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God: strengthened will all might according to his glorious power unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness give thanks unto the father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light. "
Pray for his wisdom Ephesians 1:15 - 19 says, "that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him"
Pray for his relationships within the family; to his children and to you.
Pray for his work
Pray for his relationships his brothers and sisters in Christ.
Pray for the areas of his life where there is weakness or temptation.
Pray for God to do a work in your own heart, that you would be filled with tender affections for your husband.
