Expectations

I was asked the other day how I could get my children to do their school work even though it was "summer" time. This mother struggles during the academic year to achieve the goals she has for her child and could not imagine continuing the struggle through the summer. I told her that I tell them to do it and they do it. A simplistic answer. It is simple and it is true. I have expectations for my children. Children naturally desire to please their parent and most of the time if they know what your expectation is they will rise to meet it. If they don't rise to your expectation, because it is an expectation, you are more likely to respond in a way that will help them to remember what their response should have been.

If your children fight with each other all the time a parent should first examine their own expectations. Do you expect your children to fight? Do you view it as something normal between siblings that should be laughed off or ignored? If this is your thinking than you can continue to experience your children bickering with each other and should not be surprised when their bickering escalates and turns physical. I do not expect my children to fight EVER. Now, do they fight? Yes, on occasion they have been know to exchange verbal blows. But this is not my expectation and because it is not, they are quickly and promptly reminded that their sibling is one of the most important people in their lives. That they have a responsibility to their sibling to protect and encourage them. Never to harm them.

Do you think its funny when your child mouths off. Do you expect them to get mad when you tell them no and to slam the door to their room when they go off in a huff? Or do you expect your child to submit under your authority with grace and true obedience of the heart? If your child knows that your expectation in that situation is a nod and a "yes ma'm" , that is most likely what you will get.