I made the mistake of looking past today on the calender and looking all the way through April. January was looking a little busy, by the end of Feb. I could feel a slight rise in my blood pressure which thankfully lowered as I purused March but then shot up dramatically as I flipped to April. By May I was almost hyperventalating. I have been anticipating this rollar coaster ride for the past year. I new it was coming but it has been like watching a train wreck. You see it, but there is nothing that you can do to stop it. You can ignore it, but it will still happen. You can run screaming at it, attempting desperatly to stop it, but in the end it will still happen. It is going to be stressfull and messy but the only thing I can do is attempt to ride through it until I reach the other side. Deep breathing a must!