Sunday, December 18, 2005


I received an email from a fellow home school mom that was less than kind in its content. I have been struggling for several months with this persons attitude and judgmental spiritual. When I asked her to search her heart she lashed out at me in an unfair and mean spirited way personally attacking me. Since receiving this email I have spent several hours at the computer typing back responses that I have not sent. I don't know what I will finally do. I have taken the defensive and I responded to her attack by attacking back. The emails have been hard, biting and I am sure would have been as well received as a slap in the face. I would like to send it just because I would like to slap her in the face. Its amazing how quickly I react in the flesh, feeling anger, hurt, and wanting to hit back harder than I have been hit. I can't do that though because it is not what Jesus wants from me. He was persecuted, put down, called names, hit , tortured, and killed but his only response was forgiveness and love. In order for me to experience his forgiveness I am going to have to forgive her. And this is why if anyone tells you that being a Christian is easy and that everything will be rosey in your life if you accept Christ you should run because that person has no understanding of the gospel. Christ has expectations for us. He wants obedience. This is not some feel good gospel. He loved us enought to die for us, we should love him enough to obey him. It may take a lot of prayer, I will have to humble myself (something I am not good at and struggle with a lot), and I will have to forgive her. I am just not sure how long it is going to take.