My husband came to me to day after speaking with a mutual friend, and told me that they must be doing very well financially because of a purchase they were planning on making. He then asked me what we were doing wrong. Given our budget, how would we ever afford something like that. It was discouragement that I heard in his voice and it tore at my heart. My husband works hard every day. He works long hours and still has time to give to his family, his friends, and his church. He is worn out and I worry about him burning his candle at both ends. He does this for us. To provide for us and to hopefully give us a future the best way he knows how.
We made choices that have prevented us from having the "things" that so many others around us have and sometimes like today we look at those choices and wonder if they were the right ones. We chose to have me stay home with our children which meant that we were going to be a one income family in an economy that is unfriendly to one income families. We chose to home school our children taking on the added expenses of their education when the government is more than willing to educate our children for us. My husband chose to leave his union job to open his own company so that his work would be family friendly. But, this meant not having company health insurance and that is a huge monthly financial drain. We chose to buy a home that we could afford and not a home the bank thought we could afford. This has meant that for the last 10 years we have lived in a construction zone, an unfinished house, but a wonderful home. We don't take fancy vacations to the Bahamas or a cruise every year. Our idea of a good vacation is a week in a pop up camper at a nearby campground. My children do not have their own computers. They do not even have a game boy. Our cars are not new and we won't be able to pay to send our children to college. They will have to work for it.
All of these things are a strain on my dear husband who wants the world for his family. My job is to do a better job showing him that he has given us the world! That he is successful and that we appreciate and understand the sacrifices he makes everyday to provide for us as well as he does. "For an educated woman with many options and a high sense of self worth, being a home maker and devoting herself to her children full time should be a mark of achievement and status. And her husband should regard his wife's ability to be a full time mother as a sign of their mutual success." (unknown author)
We may not have an expensive house but we do have a home. Our family likes each other and within these walls there is love and respect for each individual. We support and encourage one another here and our door is always open to friends. It is not unusual for there to be several extra children present with us at dinner. We here comments about how they can't believe we cook. When we ask them to join us in telling us about their day they are shocked that we asked and that we care. We have this home because my husband works to provide it for us. So tonight when we sit down to talk about our day I will be sure to remind him how thankfully I am for all that he does, how much I respect his work ethic and the effort he puts forth for us everyday.